On September 4, 2009 my wife and I got married.  It was a wonderful day with it's typical ups and downs, drama and comedy relief.  It was the best day of my life.  That was 6 months ago.  The ink is barely dry on our marriage license.  But now, due to a dirty little secret I just uncovered, I have to wonder if we'll make it a full year.  This is not a joke. 

My wife is cheating on me.

Six months ago, I serenaded her to 'Fly Me To The Moon'.  Had I known then what I know now, perhaps I would have chosen the song 'These Boots Are Made For Walking', or 'Your Cheatin' Heart'.  Or maybe, I should have just walked away.  Because today, I don't think I know her anymore.  I hesitate to say that I may not even want to know her.  But that sadly seems to be the truth.  ("Truth"....recognize that word Lindsey?)  Maybe it's just the hurt talking.  Maybe that's my pride trying to steady my legs after being kneecapped by deception.  They say you never see it coming, but that would never be me.  I'm an intelligent and grounded guy.  I can see people for what they really are.  You can't get one over on me.  Nope.  Not me.  Never, never, never.....
That's what I used to think.

...But then I looked on her computer.

I'm not a jealous person.  I'm not overbearing.  I'm not controlling.
I am trustworthy and trusting, and therein lies my downfall.  Perhaps I need to start doubting others, questioning their motives and morals.  Because there's no other way to say it - I've been had.  I've been made to look like a fool, and worst of all, I have the evidence to prove it (if it comes to the point that I need to prove it).

A dirty little secret becomes a filthy and sickening reality, a life-changer, when you see it in black & white.  I didn't go into her computer to investigate anything or to confirm any suspicions.  I was ignorantly happy and naive until her laptop spilled its guts.  And then there it was.  And here I am.  And I'm devastated.


There I was, sitting in Barnes & Noble, doing some work outside of the apartment to get a change of scenery.  So I took her laptop with me.  Got a cup of coffee and powered on Pandora's Box.

I was going to login to Facebook, so I just clicked on the little arrow to the right of the web address field, knowing that she surely visited that site recently.  (Anyone who knows Lindsey knows why this was more of a certainty than an assumption).  Little did I know that Facebook is what actually led to her indiscretion.  As soon as I clicked that arrow, her recently visited websites appeared....and there it was:

Scrabble Helper - Literati Word Builder

A few weeks ago, Lindsey and I started playing Scrabble online via Facebook.  A harmless game.  Friendly competition.  We even joked: "We are such an old married couple, playing Scrabble".  Little did I know that Lindsey's definition of an old married couple was a relationship in which one person honorably and innocently participates in life with a snake.

I suppose I should have seen it coming.  All the signs were there.  Let me paint the picture for you.

February 23, 2010:  Game 1
Billy - 252
Lindsey - 199

February 25, 2010: Game 2
Billy - 299
Lindsey - 164

March 1, 2010: Game 3
Billy - 360
Lindsey - 166

Games 4 and 5 had similar results, but Lindsey was starting to score in the 200's.  And I think my jokes and jabs about her consistent use of 3 and 4-letter words were starting to aggravate her.  So much so that I started to see larger words being used which helped to take her scores into the mid-200's.  Words like 'oocyte' and 'merino' starting racking up some decent points.  'Good for her', I thought, 'I sure am enjoying these fair and competitive matches'.

And then she got greedy.

Game 7 included such gems from Lindsey as 'ozonise', 'pulsant', and my personal favorite, 'faqir'.  After these turns I actually said to her, "Wow!  Nice one.  That's a great word".  To which Cheaty McCheats-alot replied, "Yeah, I just threw some letters together to see if they'd work".  At one point she had a 40-50 point lead.  Towards the end of the game I was able to bring the match to a respectable 1 point defecit, with Lindsey ultimately winning 280-to-272.  She very graciously said, "You did a great job of coming back", and won with seeming grace and class.  I hope she was silently wracked with guilt and shame.

So now, I am forced to decide if I shall continue to play with the crooked liar that is my wife.

FYI - We are in the early stages of a new game in which her last turn awarded her 14 points for the word 'ohia'.

I'm curious Lindsey, if you had the following tiles, what word could you form?:

For now, I'm going to go about my other Scrabble games with honor and dignity and attempt with all of my might to save this marriage which has been sullied and defiled by infidelity and foul play.

Lindsey, you are so busted!

Hbla, Lbah, Blahg!
3/8/2010 08:52:11 am

AHA! Jalop my butt.

3/8/2010 12:26:21 pm

Dearest AJ...are you insinuating that I too am a dirty cheater? I will not be found guilty by association. I stand by my use of 'jalop' after about 10 minutes of trying to find a word. I will not stand for these accusations.

3/8/2010 10:39:38 pm

Wow, Lindsey, that's just wrong. I hate to say I agree with Bill. Ugh.

3/8/2010 10:54:57 pm

What Billy is not telling people is that he too, uses the Web to help him win Scrabble games. But as usual, I'm the bad guy!

3/9/2010 12:01:54 am

Oh, I must beg to differ my pet. Doing a search for '5 letter words that start with Q' is much different that a site that takes all of your tiles and tells you every word you can make. Winners never cheat...and cheaters are named Lindsey.

3/11/2010 01:42:54 am

I'll never look at Lindsey the same way again. To think that just last weekend she was playing with my son...in my home. I feel betrayed.

3/12/2010 12:21:32 am

You guys should play Scrabble tourny's as they award cash for winners that dont CHEAT!

2/3/2012 10:47:07 am

A great and fearless leader once said, "Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat.". I play my Words With Friends game cleanly and with integrity, and as my friends - Bill excluded, I would expect the same.


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